What does one do?

by - 4/23/2009 08:37:00 PM

I will try and make this a short story before I ask the title question again.

My hubby and I lived a few miles from the beach in southern California for almost our whole lives. We raised our 6 kids there. We met a great friend (I will refer to him as G) there who has always been there for us and so loyal. We lived in the same housing tract for almost 25 years. When we came out to AZ to sign the papers on the land we purchased, G came with us and made a purchase of land up the dirt road from us. We made our move here to Arizona and a few years later G followed us.   G is single and needless to say he met a few ladies in the last 4 years he has lived here. The last lady he met through a friend up the dirt road from him. She was involved, but wanted out of her relationship and evicted from her home. OK... long story so far... cut to the chase... This lady has a daughter that has horses. The lady was able to sell 3 of the horses, but the daughter wanted to keep the last 2. The day came when this lady finally made the (temporary it was suppose to be) move to his home. I and hubby decided we would help him out and keep the horses here for a while until she was on her own again.

Well.... 2 years later, we still have the horses. What bugs me the most, the daughter at first came by about once a month to pick out their feet and brush them and ride them. Then that time frame got more and more spaced out. I know G wishes things were different. I feel he does not want this lady living with him, but he does so like the companionship. 

So... my dilemna. Way too often, they don't have enough feed and I am pulling from ours to feed their horses. The last time the daughter came down to see her horses she rode each one for about 15 minutes. Considering she rides them hard and fast during this visit and the interim time from her prior visit to this time has been almost 4 months, I don't think this is too good for the horses sake. Then there is the time I call them to let them know that the farrier will be down if they want to have them trimmed. They say no. Then 4 months later I call again about the farrier, they say no. Then finally when I had the farrier out last month, they finally said yes. Needless to say the farrier did not look at these horses before telling G how much he charges and G wrote the check and left. So when the farrier got to these horses, the farrier saw how grown out they were and I know he got underpaid, so I put in an additional 10 bucks. 

Now when we took these horses in, they also came with about 10 horse panels.  One day about 3 months ago I got a call from the daughter and she asked if she could have 5 of the panels back so she could work with another horse for a friend. I was floored and a bit mad. I said the first thing that came to mind by telling her that I think that by us keeping her horses and caring for them these past 2 years for nothing that the panels are ours now. Of course, I felt bad by saying this after I hung up. My hubby called G a few days later and said the panels are theirs and they can come and get them anytime they want.  My hubby and I have often felt that maybe it is about time to ask them to move the horses to G's land (they have 2 acres). Then we always think that if we did that they may not want to come and help us when we go somewhere and we need someone to feed our animals.

They never came and got the panels. But I think there is a bit of a rif between G and us. 

I had to call the lady today to tell her that her horses don't have any feed again because when she got the last bale we had already fed her horses for 5 feedings of our feed (which really pissed me off because it made it so my horses missed a feeding and only got their grain and carrots for their Sunday night meal).    

So... to the question... What does one do in this situation?                                           

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  1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting on the camera post! ;) I'm curious to hear how you are enjoying yours. I got a Nikon D40. I love it! I still have a lot to learn, though! ;)
    The situation in this post is tricky. I can not believe that you have been doing this for so long. Has she been compensating you in any way? You have a heart of gold. I think it is perfectly acceptable to tell her you need the horses removed by a certain date (give her a set deadline.) The tricky thing is, what happens if they aren't removed by the deadline? It's not like you are the type to not feed the horses or put them on the side of the road! I guess you just have to hope that they willingly and quickly move the horses to their own property. There has to be a point where the horses are technically considered "abandoned" by their owner. I hope she doesn't do that and put you in a position to find new homes for them. Keep us posted. I'm curious to hear what other readers say, too!

  2. Thank you for stopping by Ponygirl.
    I will check out my Nikon tomorrow in the daylight, it is in the bedroom where hubby is sleeping... LOL
    What is funny, when I got this new camera, I thought I would like to do a blog on it and show pics of the old and new cameras so when I saw your post, I just cracked up. I will have to see when I bought ours, I know it was darn close to when you got yours.

    I am not sure what we are going to do about the horses. Hubby and I just take one day at a time.

    happy horsin' around!

  3. Momma! Welcome BACK!!!!! It's so nice to see you back amongst us again, laughing and learning along with us out here in equi-blog-land.

    This is a really tough tough situation you two are in with those horses. I agree, a set date ***!! IN WRITING **!!! for the owner to remove the horses is a reasonable expectation. Find out the laws in your state for the next step. (ie: If owners get notice in writing - return receipt requested mail- stating they have 30 days to move the horses, do you have to have a "public auction" to remove the horses? Do you have to send them to a public auction? Can you claim the animals, and try to rehome them from there? Can you keep them, and try to sell them for some of what is owed on the horses?)

    From being in sticky handshake situations myself, I no longer do ANYTHING with out a written contract.

    On another note, I am sorry to see the little fellows had to go, but you did all you could do. Prayers for them continue!!

    Couple questions from my site:
    One, being what were the large rolls in the background in one of the pix- those are my round bales of hay for Sonny Bunz. Two, Yep, I am pleased as PUNCH to say, Sonny Bunz is now ours, and no longer Sonny The Rehab Horse!!! Ummm.. ... shoot... I know you asked a couple of other ones, and now I can't remember what they were! LOL Ah well...! Feel free to email me if you have more questions! (swequine@yahoo.com)

    Have a GRAND day there, and again - Welcome Back!

  4. Thank you Mrs Mom.. great to hear from you and I will add your email to my list so I can ask my more entailed questions that I just know you would know the answers to.

    I will continue to try and be back in this, the wonderful horsey blog world I am blessed to be able to be a part of.

  5. ((hugs)) first off. I am sorry the little tykes weren't able to stay. You did do they very best by them. As for this situation? I am with Mrs.Mom. This person is obviously taking advantage of you! That in itself is awful, but ti neglect her horses? Seriously? What gives? I would send her something in writing. To firm & to the point, nothing is going to resolve, untill you confront her. (unfortunatley) Good luck. Thank you for your prayers, and warm thoughts. I will send some your way.((hugs))

  6. Couple of things come to mind. Call the SPCA and tell them the owners aren't caring for the horses and always keep in mind, your animals should come first. Feed your horses on their regular schedule and then call 'G' and tell them their horses have no food. "IF" you have extra, I guess you can share.

    And I agree with Mrs Mom. Set a date, expectations, etc., in writing then do what you can legally do to move the horses.

  7. Hello Momma/Cowgirl! You have a very nice blog here! I love to read about other horse peoples lives so I am planning to come by for a visit now and then. ;-)

    To G and the horses you are taking care of...
    This whole "thing" should not be about You or G or your friendship, and it should not be about panels or hey or ferriers and money, it should be a matter of responsibility. HER (the owners) responsibility! Because HER horses are HER responsibility and not yours. Because of your friendship with G they became somehow yours, however and I think you should give that responsibility - her horses - BACK into her care asa possible.
    The only way you have a chance to get your friendship with G back (it will never be the way it was again though, too much has happend and people change...) to "normal" is when you are able to let go of the horses (and the panels and all the stories in the past about ferriers and her riding them in "HER" way).
    I know that's hard, beeing a horse person myself, for us the horses interest and their well beeing comes first always, but sometimes we have to let go, because by helping the animal we are not helping the person.
    We are taking the chance from people like her to learn one of lifes most important lessons.
    The horse owner got away with too many things in life already, so why should she show more responsibility?
    And, probably she doesn't see it the way you see it anyways...
    So why put yourself through more "of that" in the future....
    "Letting go" is the keyword here I think.
    Best Regards,

  8. oh that just irks me that people "dump" their horses on someone doing them a favor for a "short" time. same thing happened here. but it was an acquaintance, not a friend, so i just got tough and she got tired of me b*tching and finally took her horse elsewhere...

    hard to do that when you might lose a good friend though huh?

  9. Thank you all for your input. Hubby and I will certainly give this one some thought.
    Take care and Happy Horsin' Around


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